Wednesday, December 31, 2003



Why celebrate Jan 1 as New Year's day ?

There is really no good reason for this day being the one given that every religion/culture have their own New Year day - And the reason Jan 1 is even celebrated is because "that was the date the Roman consuls took over their duties"...I would have preferred celebrating the discovery date of electricity or the light bulb or the telephone ( who is stopping me, u might ask ? )...Celebrating Valentine's, Mothers, Fathers day etc makes more sense to me - every human being can relate to this...New Years can make sense to businesses, as it could be end of quarter ( if it was profitable )...but to a common man ??? And that too the day when some lazy Romans finally decided to work...ah ha....now I get it...a Roman is going to work...that deserves a celebration. Switch on the neon lights, play some loud music, call your friends and yell "The Roman is off to work...let us celebrate..."


HAPPY NEW YEAR... ( I meant this for Tamil New year's on April 14th )...





Tuesday, December 30, 2003




Got this from some message board:

"Socialism is a remarkably wonderful economic system if you happen to be sick, lame or lazy. It also affords government bureaucrats a tremendously beneficial career at the expense of those who choose to work. People who have gumption, however, are inclined to leave the system and relocate to America where meritocracy still exists to a limited degree. "Something for nothing" has always appealed to the sick, lame and lazys of this world. Free prescription drugs has always been at the top of their wish list. Yes, we do have socialists in America, but they are largely confined to university faculties and Hollywood. What's even more interesting, is that people who can afford it tend to leave those socialist countries for the U.S., get rich, then go back to their homelands to retire as a member of the upper class. "....


Have been reading "Gangs of New York". Reminds me of India. But if one reads 10 pages of this book ( actually any 10 ) u will get the idea. Every chapter seems to be the same. Havent seen the movie yet...

Zen Thoughts...

* Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
* Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
* If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
* Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
* Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Monday, December 29, 2003



Saw "Kutti" couple of days back. This was a decent movie. I would rate this better than most tamil movies. Most characters had performed decently. Couple of Raja songs were really good. ( "Chinna maharani" , "Thangachi Thangachi" )

Saw "Love Actually". LOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG chick flick.

"Today, A centres constitute nearly 70 to 80 per cent of the collections, and B and C centres, once the backbone of the trade, are now becoming insignificant." -- from Hindu's article on the Tamil movie industry performance in 2003. And Ram Gopal Verma had some harsh things to say in his Time Asia interview about making films for the non-urban population - "With my films, I'm targeting the urban multiplexes, the sophisticated media-savvy young crowd. Frankly, I couldn't give a f--- for the villages."

And of the top ten Tamil movies of 2003, only one had a title using English words ( "Boys" )...Does anybody care about Viduthalai Siruthaigal...

Wednesday, December 24, 2003



This is vacation week. Had to take vacation - else I would have lost the vacation days. Having fun though...

"When I watched 'Kaadhal Kondaen', I felt that maybe I could have had such a climax for my 'Guna'" -- This is part of Kamal's speech praising Danush. There was a discussion not long back where I had mentioned that KK is a better Guna - many Kamal fans ( veriyan ? ) didnt like that. Does Kamal feel that he could have done something better in Guna to get it to the level of KK ??? :-)

I saw "Dil Se" and "Pithamagan". A Mani movie and a Bala movie. A bad ( jevvu ) movie and a decent movie. I dont want to compare the directors again, but Bala is definitely better than many ( most ). Especially the fight sequences in "Pithamagan" were impressive. And the story is very focussed. Although establishing the bond between Surya-Vikram's character was too quick. In a couple of not-so-convincing scenes they have become thick friends. Reminds me of Mamooty-Rajni stuff in "Dalapathy"...

I dont understand Indian movies and slapping characters. I feel like everybody in ( love stories or drama movies ) seem to be slapping everybody around and the reciever doesnt seem to mind much - sometimes even ignoring it and continues delivering lines. I have seen many emotional families in my life, but a slap is a "major" incident that is remembered/recalled over years. And usually people react immediately. Most side characters ( comedians or college friends ) seem to get slapped and dont react.

Saw "Jism". We stopped it after 30 minutes. Couldnt tolerate it. What a poor remake of "Body Heat" ? And Bipasha Basu, please stick to modelling...

Thursday, December 18, 2003



"a Jet Li fight sequence has a "Dhool" song playing in the background, sausages become pav bhaji, and Jackie Chan receives an avichamuttai instead of a black eye" - ROFLOL - this Hindu column ENglish films, Tamilish style was a good read - seems television has eaten only into Indian movie profits...Hollywood has adapted to Indian audience too...

Saw "Bruce Almighty" twice last night. Not that the movie was great. It was ok. But the second time, I watched it with the director's commentary. And that was fun. So much of the movie is made in post-production. Also most of the movie was shot in LA ( Universal Studios ) whereas the story location is in Buffalo. I felt like almost 20% of the movie's scenes were done post-production. All this just with Photoshop and "After Effects".

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003



Just noticed that many brokerage firms ( T.D.Waterhouse, Ameritrade ) are offering free trading for a month or two. They have become so desperate to get people to trade stocks. Bad times to be offering such deals...no money to spend and it is the holiday season.

Terra Server allows you to get aerial pictures of almost any location ( street, house etc ) in the U.S. The pictures are old ( taken in the 1990s ) but it is pretty cool. This picture is where my house is located ( although it was still not constructed when this picture was taken ).


Tuesday, December 16, 2003



Sometimes one catches a cold and have no idea where this came from. I couldnt figure out why I had a running nose ( I used a tissue every 10 sec )...finally figured out that the house had gotten too dry after I had switched on the dehumidifier in the basement...switched on the humidifier last night and had 4 hours of peaceful sleep...This happens every year ( humidity issue ) and I forget it every year...

Exams are over today. Too many movies to watch: Lord of the Rings, Kakka Kakka, Thiruda Thirudi, Jeyam, Julie Ganapathy, Love Actually, Iyarkai, Pithamagan...

I feel bad for those in the Arab world who thought Saddam was fighting for their cause. How could he have surrendered and negotiated with the soldiers ??? Come on, I will bet that Osama will not do that...Saddam's daughters still support their dad, inspite of "hating" him...hmmmm....

Got an email - sent to wrong address but had a nice URL link...

Monday, December 15, 2003



Every one of the charges against Saddam is valid except the last one: "Saddam Hussein may also be put on trial for his possible role in the insurgency against the coalition troops in Iraq now"...Is it a crime to defend oneself ???

I think we are seeing the last of Ramesh and Balaji in international cricket. The Bombay team ( oops, Indian team ) seems to doing fine. Hope the two of them enjoy their stints as 12th men...

Friday, December 12, 2003



This is interesting. They dont seem to leave any place for placing ads. Look at my "Shout" box. Somebody has placed an ad...

Microsoft to cut Swastikas from Font...I dont get this - the article clearly says that this symbol is used in Buddhism..."A form of the swastika has been used in the Buddhist religion to symbolize the feet or footprints of the Buddha. The symbol, which was also used widely in the ancient world including Mesopotamia, Scandinavia, India and the Americas, became common in China and Japan with the spread of Buddhism."....Is it ok to get rid of specific words and symbols from a software ( used globally ) just because it means something bad to one religion but works in another religion ???? What about using this in kolam...havent Buddhism and Kolam been there much before the Nazi party was formed ????

Here is an interesting quiz: Programming language inventor OR serial killer

Disclaimer: These are not my jokes...

1. It is important that a woman keeps a clean home and has a job.
2. It is important that a woman makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a woman you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a woman is good in bed and loves making love to you.

And finally,

5. It is really important that these four women don't know each other

Wednesday, December 10, 2003



If somebody wants to contribute to the family or the cause of S.K.Dubey, here is the link...S.K.Dubey Foundation...

Tuesday, December 09, 2003



It is official: Two Indians in the PGA tour this year...Arjun Atwal and Daniel Chopra...


The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, perhaps even better, "Austrionics".)

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.

Monday, December 08, 2003



Busy weekend. Spent good part of Sunday shoveling snow ( 10 inches ). I and my friend did the job together. 2 driveways - 3 hours approx. We did miss the beer. And traffic was so light today. Although I saw school buses. Maybe the parents decided to take the day off.

Important Golf News: Arjun Atwal could be the first Indian golf player to play in the PGA tour ( premier golf tour in the world ). Today is the final round. He is ranked 10th currently, and the top 30 get to play in the PGA tour. Also Daniel Chopra is a player from England - he could also be of Indian origin. If these 2 qualify, then there will be 3 players of Indian origin in the PGA tour next season...( Vijay Singh - world no 2 - is of Indian origin ).

Looks like every Indian batsman in the last test ( India-Australia ) did decently. So is this the beginning of the end for S.Ramesh ??? permanent 12th man for this tour...

Is this the First Computer "bug" ever recorded ??? This is a cool clock - some school project...


S.A.T. TESTING

The following questions and answers were collated from the SAT tests given to 16 years-old students! Don't laugh too hard-- one of them could become president one day!

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q . What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Thursday, December 04, 2003




This is a sad day for me. A college & batch mate has been murdered when doing his job...I have seen him many times in the mess, canteen, TV room, magazine room etc although I dont recall having had a conversation with him...

Hmmmmmm...



Wednesday, December 03, 2003



Took me 2 hours to get to work yesterday. So frustrating. A colleague of mine came in around 11 - took him 3 hours for 30 miles !!! Some guys turned around after an hour or so...sick ( of driving ) leave...all this because there was few minutes of snow fall in the night and it was a clear sky and roads were clear during the drive...

Go to Google.com and search for miserable failure. Look up the first link that Google serves up...The many faces of Michael Jackson...this is scary - Microsoft fires worker over blogging...I am at work too...:-)

Arjun Atwal has made it to the final round of the PGA qualifiers. This is golf news, btw....


I've spent most of my money on beer and women. The rest I just wasted....

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Understanding Women...



For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is – In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed... (0)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows... (-1)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets... (-2)

You leave the toilet seat up... (-5)
You leave the toilet lid down... (-10)
. . . after the lights are out... (-30)

You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty... (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom... (-2)

You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings… (+5)
But return with beer... (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night ... (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing... (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something... (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron... (+10)
It's her father... (-10)

Social Engagements:

You stay by her side the entire party... (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy... (-2)
Named Tiffany... (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer... (-6)
Tiffany has implants... (-8)

Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner... (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ... (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar... (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night... (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you -can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team... (-10)

A Night Out With The Boys:

Go out with a pal... (-5)
And the pal is happily married... (-4)
Or frighteningly single... (-7)
And he drives a Mustang... (-10)
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)... (-15)


A Night Out:

You take her to a movie... (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes... (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate... (+6)
You take her to a movie you like... (-2)
It's called DeathCop 3... (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex... (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.... (-15)

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly... (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it.... (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts... (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"... (-800)

The Big Question:

She asks, "Do I look fat?”... (0)
You hesitate in responding... (-10)
You reply, "Where?"... (-35)


Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression... (0)
For more than 30 minutes... (+5)
For more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV... (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep... (-20)

Monday, December 01, 2003



We ( friends and me ) planned on Thurs night, how to get hold of every free item on sale on Friday morning. Everyone was assigned a store and everybody seemed excited at 7:00 pm. Few beers later ( 11:00 pm maybe ) everybody had changed their mind. It turned out to be for the good...the cops were turning people away from WalMart because all parking lots within a n-mile radius were packed...interestingly I went yesterday to WalMart and saw the same deals and the items were available...:-)

Is this professional ??? I dont think so. "Vice-captain Rahul Dravid stood-in for Sourav Ganguly on the field today who chose to have an extended batting net while the game was on. Even when Ganguly came back to field in the second hour, Dravid continued to lead the side"...

Saw "Signs" last night. I didnt like it the first time, but found it ok. Actually the post-production video was cool. The amount of story-boarding work done is amazing...Here is a cool script to storyboarding to screen flash movie of "The Last Samurai"...

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003



Sleep or Sale...I have never tried to go for a Thanksgiving Sale in 9 years - get up at 4 in the morning and stand outside the store in the cold - just saw WalMart's Thanksgiving sale ad - lots of good deals...hmmm....tempting...bicycle for 40$, 3.2 MP Digital camera for 100$...Zzzzzzzzzzzz it is. More analysis of 2004 elections...It is ok to have Bose speakers for ur PC but there should be absolutely no noise from your desktop...

The Tamil movie industry seems to be tired of seeing Jackie Chan kungfu movies...so a new production company to make Tamil kongfu movies...

Some golf related marketing studies...Despite an increase in golfers and courses, number of rounds played have decreased...From omnipresent communication technology to the desire to experience multiple activities at once to more emphasis on family time, as well as other factors, life in the United States has become more complex -- and somehow, more time-consuming. Golf, with its heritage of five-and-a-half hour rounds, is in direct conflict with the lifestyle of baby boomers, Gen-Xers and Gen-Yers. And it shows.


I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003



VENT OUT: I am furious about the CAT paper incident...I blame the rich Bas$#@ds, Bi$#%es of India who live by screwing the poor and the middle class...and how do they manage to pass their college exams...obviously with money...Why the f$#@ dont they use the money and study instead or get some tutoring instead of partying all the time...why do you need a degree...to open up more private hospitals or become stock brokers and screw the hard-working middle class...

Say Hummmmmmmmmmmmm.............I feel better now...

Saw "Chicago" last night. Ok....sumar....choreography and editing were awesome...but was it Oscar worthy...I like searching in Yahoo! Movies and last night I stumbed across Richard Donner's filmography - so impressive and he has directed one of my favorites "Maverick"...

I am trying to come up with a list of Raja's best songs from 1990 ( after ARR ). I am looking for only the real good ones ( that is relative ). I could come up with only a few.

1. Athigarathai PoosikoLla Asai - Avatharam
2. En Ulle En Ulle - Vaali
3. Ennai thalatta varuvaya - KathulukKu Mariyadhai
4. Oliyile Therivadhu Devadayaiya - Azhagi
5. Sri Ranganathanin Padham - Mahanadhi

Any others ?


Computer Dating...A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin.

Monday, November 24, 2003



I am 32 but it still excites me that there is no class tomorrow...my prof is taking off...I used to look forward to the monsoon season in Madras when I was young...in Boston I am looking for lots of snow...schools will be closed...:-)

Helped a friend move this weekend. Doing the third move this year. I need to seriously think of this as a weekend business...will help me with my golf expenses and a good workout. Anybody want to move in the Boston area ?...My friend had got a couple of helpers from "Labor Ready" for the move...one of them was a nut case...he ( claimed ) saved the nuclear war from happenning between India and Pak...he has a PhD also...to stop the nuclear war he had to use the help of the King of Jordan and Mother Theresa's unit ( ??? )...and ofcourse he lazed off after an hour or so...I might end up going to the Thanksgiving Parade this weekend in New York. Have never been there. Also I am going to New York to help another friend MOVE....So am not going to the Aish Aish baby sighting in Boston...

About the box-office status of "Boys" --- ( from Rediff )
Shankar, meanwhile, managed to salvage his reputation as a director who has never known outright flops in a rather roundabout fashion. Boys, his latest venture, ran foul of public opinion in Tamil Nadu, with many protesting that the dialogues and some scenes were too 'vulgar' for public consumption. The film -- produced by Shankar's regular producer A M Rathnam -- did enormous business in Telugu. Now comes word that it is a bigger hit in neighbouring Sri Lanka, where the film has completed 50 houseful days and counting.Reportedly Boys has already earned, in the Sri Lanka market, more than Shah Rukh-starrer Devdas managed to earn in the US. Lazy Geek can give the status in Tamilnadu....:-)

Re-reading moxon.net..."The real reason that Indians like cricket is that it's possible to spend days, literally, watching one game, and for a nation that spends days, literally, sitting around in chai shops shooting the shit, cricket is perfect"...


Friday, November 21, 2003

Ash Ash baby...is going to be in Natick Mall ( 10 minutes from where I live ) Thanksgiving weekend...The question is, should I go or not ?...If it was Anna Kournikova, ippove tent'poturipPen...what to do when the Internet is down...i seriously wouldnt know what to do...just like I dont miss TV now ( a month now ) I wont miss it and will start reading the newspaper ( news on paper, wow, i didnt know that )....Google's pigeon ranks...

Saw "Kannethire Thondrinal". Actually was forced to. One of the rare Tamil movies available in NetFlix. Vivek was the surprise here...he sounded way different than now, ofcourse younger, and not funny, and his jokes were not written by him...so it was disappointing...but Prashanth did a decent job. That was something new...

Somebody asked me what I thought about "The Terrorist". I loved the movie for 2 reasons:
1. Ayesha Dharker was awesome. ( except for the pullup scene - clearly somebody was pushing her up :-) )
2. Sivan shows how to make a quality movie without a lot of investment. A good lesson for beginners.

Yes, "The Terrorist" had its weak moments. Especially I felt the "pregnancy" was forced. Why not without pregnancy ? Just seeing normal life and having a change of heart. Also I somehow hate somebody becoming pregnant in one shot. If that is not true, be clear on that. The climax scene was confusing to me. ie she doesnt do it is clear...i dont know how to explain, somehow I felt there should be a closure...


A guy goes to a psychiatrist. He says, "Doc, you gotta help me. My wife is a model for Victoria's Secret and she is being unfaithful. Every night she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She sleeps with anyone who asks. I'm going nuts, you gotta help me." The psychiatrist says, "Calm down. Take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. There you go...doesn't that feel better? Now tell me, just where is Harry's Bar?"



Thursday, November 20, 2003



I bought a house 2 months back. Another house in my street is on the market from this week. Same design, same year built, etc etc etc and bigger backyard. Includes fridge, washer/dryer etc. Listed at a price lesser than ours. :-)....kismet...time to move ???

This is an interesting interview I read yesterday. Dev Anand in Little India magazine: What's a box-office hit ? Something intangible in a film sets off a certain vibration in the audience's collective mind. And all of a sudden people are drawn to it. This phenomenon cannot be explained. You just have to let your instinct dictate your creative decisions....I remember reading something like ( Technology to stop video piracy ) this 10 years back where different prints of a movie had a black line on one side on a particular frame, but each print having the line on different frames. And this way the producers tracked which movie theatres produced the illegal copies. But when they realized that the Malaysian mafia was involved, they couldnt take any action...the last part I made it up...

I didnt know John Malkovich distributed "The Terrorist". Supposedly this movie is a huge hit in the rental market. Good, honest efforts never get wasted. Was this digitally shot ? This was a "naalana" ( 25 paise ) movie...

How To Translate Things Men Say
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." really means..."I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"I do help around the house." really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."Really means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
"I can't find it." really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?" really means... "What did you catch me doing?"
"I heard you." really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next days yelling at me."

Wednesday, November 19, 2003



I am tired after the argument about Mani Rathnam Vs Bala...Cell phone users in the US - number portability from Nov 24...Must read for all those who havent been to Madras for some years now...and want to catch up with what is happenning there...If you have audio connection, try this out, especially folks who get very emotional in blog comments site :;...Here is the list of the top email hoaxes....

Bought some DVDs from Columbia House. Harry Potter, Shrek, Forest Gump, Sixth Sense, Usual Suspects...I am currently working out the math on how many days should a movie run successfully to make 'x' amount of money in India...will post it in a new blog sometime this week...


Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

Monday, November 17, 2003



Things money can do even in America...If you are an American, you are likely to be too dumb...the holiday season is coming...woohoo...lots of vacation, where to go ? what to buy ?...went to a sports store that was going out of business...I didnt see anything cheap there - looks like one can sell more by putting a sign outside "Going out of business" and then rename the store and start again...ennavo po...

I got this from Ramanand's blog...funny and honest articles about a British traveller's experiences in many countries, which includes India, ofcourse...About Chennai "I arrived in Chennai at 9.15am - astoundingly the train arrived a full five minutes early - booked into a hotel, and by 4pm I'd seen all the sights, managed to change some money, do some window shopping, and had found myself wandering aimlessly. This was not what I had expected."
"But the price to pay for all this easy living is boredom. It's as if Chennai is situated beyond the event horizon of some nearby black hole; nothing seems to happen here." I am surprised he didnt mention much about Marina beach and the best fielders/catchers in the world, the beach KAKA !!!


Actual court questions/answers:

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: ???

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No..
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Sunday, November 16, 2003



Saw "Jay Jay" last night. Sumar...so-so...Ofcourse Madhavan has done a good job again ( If he can choose better roles, he is going to be in Tamil movies for a long time ). Songs come up unexpectedly - no buildup at all. The audience towards the end were murmuring for no songs...just finish the movie...some ridiculous scenes like one person pointing to his hand ( with no watch ) and saying that it is getting late...a friend literally begging at the hero's feet not to see some girl who is getting married, the hero sees the girl and finds out it is not his lover and immediately breaks into a song followed immediately by being frustrated that he cant find his lover...and the core scene for the story is when the hero meets the heroine and expresses his love blah blah blah but never gets to know her name...this movie could have been saved had Vivek been there...there were no BEATs in this movie...slowdown and it could have been better...too many dialogues is also not good...before the audience can understand the characters, they are doing so many things, love, cry, fight...

Saw "Anbe Sivam" again yesterday. Till the last marriage scene the movie was really good. I still dont understand why introduce such a PooshnikKa coincidence in the end...same girl ??? cmon...why should justice be done...enakKu puriyele...But Uvi Sethu telling everybody to give 10 rupees and collect their boxes which he had stolen was just too good...2-to-2 to 2-to-2...I dont care about Kamal sothapify the climax scenes in his movies but he is a really good director...

Some more mars'ians pictures...

Anybody who is interested to know how Wal Mart manages to give everyday low prices will find the article very interesting read.

I have always wondered whether there are any Indian stand-up comedians in the US...here is one...Melvin Durai...

Friday, November 14, 2003



Networked homes are coming...so the next big thing could be the equivalent of a mechanic/plumber/electrician in software...Atleast in India, there is a tendency to look down on such positions...so when every piece of your home has a computer and a central computer that controls all the smaller ones, and you have 10 different software vendors providing the software, somebody is required to service/upgrade/load software/hardware in every home...this is going to be huge for the next generation...there will be online software stores like Home Depot and you never know, Hoem Depot itself will sell the home computer hardware too...there will be franchises from the big service companies - IBM, PriceWaterHouse, Accenture etc...and the job market should explode...there would be degrees that combine Marketing/Sales/Software/Hardware ( MSSH ) to create the new service engineers...and as usual there will be shortage of MSSH workers...exciting times ahead...

I miss watching Prabhu Deva. Not for his acting, but for his choreography and dance. I was watching "Sami" last night, and realized what a bad job they had done for "Kalyanam'than kattikitu" song. Now PD would have kalakKufied this song...anyways a song is irrelevant to the movie...why not use real good dancers/choreographers to perform...like "Chikku Bukku raiyile" in "Gentleman"...or something that will be better will be for Shankar/PD to join and start a company that does only one thing: Produce songs for movies. So any movie that needs songs picturized will outsource it to this company...kudutha kasukKu nalla returns kidaikKum....

Life finally explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of our house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. “You've got a deal." So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has finally been explained.

Thursday, November 13, 2003



As I parked my car, I noticed that the car next to mine was packed with stuff. Not packed in a "I'm moving" kind, but more like "I live here". McDonalds, Dunkin DOnuts, bedsheets, jackets, shirts, water, lots of paper etc. Which got me thinking that there is no reason a single person should not live in his/her car in the US. The back seat is very comfortable to sleep ( actually there are some cars where you can convert the back seat to a bed ). And nowadays for 5k you can attach a TV also. You can save a ton of money in rent. Ofcourse, dont expect to have a social life. ( Party at my place...blue Accord outside 7-11 )...I think Kamal/SriDevi start their life in a truck in "Varumayin Niram SivapPu"...

For all Matrix fans, here is a detailed analysis of the story...

You need audio connection for this cool singing horses flash movie...

Zen Thoughts...

* Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a tire leak.
* It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
* Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
* Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003



Very busy the next few weeks. Two school projects, work deadlines, helping a friend move, start working out again. I have forgotten about TV completely and have felt no after effects. An interesting email made my day yesterday. I was all smiles last night although it means zilch/nada/poojiyam. Unfortunately I am not in a position to divulge it here. Dont worry, my wife knows about this email.

I dont understand about cops giving tickets during peak hour traffic. I drive in a single lane road where max speeds are 40 MPH. And at 7:50 AM, this cop stops a car and traffic starts inching. I dont understand how big a violation was this that required stopping the car. It is irritating when everybody stops to see if the cop needs any help or the local TV news camera is around...

Hunting season is here...could shoot only 2 every round...

The debate on who should be the Golf Player of the Year is really heating up...Vijay Singh or Tiger Woods...

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003



Computer Terms:


486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

Monday, November 10, 2003



Nice weekend this one...Went to a South Indian restaurant and as I was getting into my car, the folks in the next car pointed out the lunar eclipse. That was cool - but the guy tried to say something funny like "look out, the end of the world" etc - atleast the last meal I had was a Masala Dosai :-)...Boris Becker's autobiography...Used to be a huge fan of him....his life sounds like the ultimate masala movie...Google Deskbar is a real cool application - now you can google from any windows application doing a Ctrl+Alt+G and the current highlighted text will be searched in Google without a browser window - wish I could find out how to minimize this window also with a key stroke...

Saw two Tamil movies. "Pathiban Kanavu" and "Mounam Pesiyadhe".

"Parthiban Kanavu" is like the dialogue from Johnny "Inthe Padam engeyo arambichu enge engeyo poi ippo enge porathunNu theriyama irukKu" ( starts somewhere, goes everywhere, and doesnt know to go anywhere finally ). But Vivek's comedy was awesome ( especially the Mudhal Mariyadhai spoof ) and the songs were nice. PushnikKa size coincidences in this movie...

"Mounam Pesiyadhe" - ultimate JaVvu movie...but the ending was ok...

Vijay Singh has won the money title this year in golf. Hope the Indian media ( although he is from Fiji ) mentions this....

At breakfast, I eagerly waited for my wife to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls. After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?" Without looking up she replied, "About 10 years.”

Friday, November 07, 2003



The more I have tried to not like Adam Sandler it only gets tougher...here is a trailer of one of his yet-to-be-released movies Fifty First Dates...very funny...he is a very smart dude...he is also a screenwriter...every movie he produces exactly what the audience expects of him...simple light comedy...nothing more...and he has his 3/4 sidekicks who are there in everyone of his movie...and most of his movies have been very successful...absolutely no graphics, no special effects, no action...but decent screenplay...looks like he loves making lots of money...who is India's "Adam Sandler" ?...

Saw April Madhathil...almost a remake of Idhayam...but without "Idhaya'thile IDi Kannulle Mazhai"...but loved the "Donkey spoils small wall" comedy track...soon there is going to be a remake of Samsaaram Adhu Minsaaram ?...As I was seeing "April madhathil", especially the song "Cut Adippom", how does a music director compose such a song ? ie, the way the lyrics are said could have given the initial tune to the MD...supposedly that is how the "O Podu" song happenned...so who said that it was only during Kannadasan's time that lyrics led to the song's tune...without singing say this out:

what do most college kids do ?....cut adippom, site adippom, dum adippom, books'mattum edukKeVe mattom...

Have any other catchy lines u talk among friends OR describe ur college life in a single line ? Then that could be the next Koothu song...


S.A.T. TESTING

The following questions and answers were collated from the SAT tests given to 16 years-old students! Don't laugh too hard-- one of them could become president one day!

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A. A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.
All water tends to flow toward the moon because there is no water on
the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight.

Thursday, November 06, 2003



Voyage to the edge of the universe ends...

Forget the new Matrix movie - watch Asura Vegam - the new Tamil super-duper movie....it is so good that tickets have been booked for a month already...graphics and action are so good...simply mind-blowing...:-)....

* film reviews for impatient people...for Indian movies, writing reviews in 4 or lesser words is easy...here are a few i thought of:

* Another love story
* Hero bashes 100 baddies
* Meendun oru kadhal kadhai
* Cry My Beloved Lovers
* Lame Comedy Track
* Widows should never remarry
* Yet Another love story
* Everybody is an orphan
* Unexpected break into dance
* Appa Amma Everybody Cry
* Snake saves kid family
* Aur Ek Prem Kahaani
* Hero bashes 90 baddies


Any more u can think of ?


How To Translate Things Men Say

"I'm going fishing." really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"It's a guy thing."really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain." really means... "I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately." really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late." really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." really means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear." really means... "Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." really means..."I forgot our anniversary again."
"That's women's work." really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"You know how bad my memory is." really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

Wednesday, November 05, 2003




Are you a metrosexual ?...

Some interesting articles in Rediff...

Shekhar Kapur interview....
....Eastern mind accepts a sense of chaos much easier...
....Bombay Dreams - fastest payback for investors ever...
....The West will be offloading their old people to India/China at a huge cost to themselves, but at half the cost of what they have to do to keep them well here...

Word's Worth....
....If you love something, then paths open to you...Do what you love, and money will follow, you just have to be passionate...

Disappointing reading this Matrix Revolution review...but this is what i expected...sarukKu Gali...

This is a oldie but goodie...Did you know?
If you had bought $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00. With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Miller LITE (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is my new retirement program, I call it my 401Keg program.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003




Just read somewhere about somebody dropping their cell phone in the toilet and their hand got stuck while trying to retrieve it. I have seen this in some sitcom too. Two questions: Unless it is so expensive, why in hell would one put their hands so far down a bacteria-ridden area ? What in the hell is one doing with a cell phone in a toilet - do you wash the cell phone also ? I stole this from Kingsley, but they are so cool - 3D images on the web....I am taking 3 days off during Christmas and getting 9 days off - what to do ???


Lazy Geek mentioned that somebody had told him that the ARR concert this year ( all over US and in India ) was a rig. I was there. I paid lots of money on tickets. 2 words : IT ROCKED........ The choreography, songs, singers were awesome. It might not have been as good as the 2000 concert - but the crowd was going nuts...expecially the "Humma" song was just awesome...I was screaming so loud that i couldnt speak a word for a couple of days after that...I have read that ARR spent a lot of time personally to make sure the production quality was good...and it was...Vasundhara Das, Sadhana Sargam, Shankar Mahadevan, Udit...dont miss it. It is one show I would recommend always beside "Cirque De Soleil"....


It is the flu season...so this love story will cheer one up...

LOVE STORY
I SHALL SEEK AND FIND YOU...
I SHALL TAKE YOU TO BED AND CONTROL YOU...
I WILL MAKE YOU ACHE, SHAKE AND SWEAT UNTIL YOU GRUNT AND GROAN...
I WILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR MERCY...
I WILL EXHAUST YOU TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL BE RELIEVED
WHEN I LEAVE YOU....AND YOU WILL BE WEAK FOR DAYS.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
ALL MY LOVE,
THE FLU

Get your mind out of the gutter
DID YOU GET YOUR FLU SHOT YET ?

Monday, November 03, 2003



General:I have gone a whole week without watching TV. Ofcourse watched some movies on my computer. Hope I can continue this...techies are going to get mad reading this - software installation by Internet patented...have to find a cheap place to host my new web address...details later...

Movies:SunTV or no SunTV ? I have been asking myself this for almost 3 years now, but everytime i end up seeing Sun, I dont like it at all. The sitcoms suck, big time. Also all movie stuff comes so late at night ( 12:30 pm eastern in the US ), it is just not worth it. Hopefully somebody from SunTV reads this...Is this also the World's worst looking tie...saw ARR's concert on dvd for the nth time...this was the LA concert in 2000...awesome...I was lucky to go to his concert in NY this year...it just rocked...ARR's 2 new albums are out ( Tehzeeb and U20E18 ) - heard them once, typical ARR stuff - will grow on u with time...

Humor:A recent study was undertaken to determine which days men preferred for sex. After a very brief study it was determined that men prefer to engage in sexual behavior on days that begin with the letter "T."
Examples of these days are:
Tuesday
Thursday
Thanksgiving
Today
Tomorrow
Thaturday
Thunday

Friday, October 31, 2003



General: This article was so funny and believable...

WE ( rest of the world ) knew all along that THEY ( the USofA ) were manufacturing/innovating in the

1950s: airplanes, cars, home goods - WE didnt do anything
1960s: machinery, medicine - WE didnt do anything
1970s: computer hardware - WE didnt do anything
1980s - software - WE didnt do anything
1990s - internet, biotech, PCs - WE didnt do anything
2000s - And Now - Are WE doing anything ?

So which country is going to be the next sweatshop for the US ? Not that there is anything wrong with WE's attitude...chumma oru observation'than...Are WE slaves of a different nature...ofcourse if WE do anything new, THEY will buy us out...

I must take some new courses...Creativity nil + lazy...atleast oTtiko...

Movies:Somebody heard my plea in yesterday's blog about a article/study on a Tamil movie veriyan...Tamil film industry generates most of the revenue among all Indian movies ??? so claims the Hindu - more than Hindi movies !!!

Humor:
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked,"Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either."
"Then" he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like sailing/ballooning/rock climbing ?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No," I said. "I've never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a sh-t if you live to be 80?"

Thursday, October 30, 2003



General:"facetious" is a word that contains all the vowels in order...whatever...Looks like we are done with all the tourist spots in India...The West knows to make money...It is so pretty in Boston now...this is all a setup...it is going to get sh$t cold soon...I love pizzas...need pizza therapy ?...Disappointed that Bertucci's is not included in the list...

Movies: Saw startup.com last night. Okey...Initially no desis in company, but when company grows many of them, then they layoff everybody...

Here is a cinesouth news:

Title: Danush injured in a football incident
News: Danush fractures right hand...
Picture: Danush fractures left hand...
Here is the link....

On one side, they watch and admire movies like "Titanic", "Jurassic Park"...on another side they fight about two absolute trash movies...we need some psychologists to come out with books/articles/studies on a Tamil movie fan ( veriyan ) - I think it has nothing to do with the movie, somebody is cashing out big time be doing this...


Humor:Some thoughts:

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted. Death can be, too, but that's the only way life is!
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead?"




Wednesday, October 29, 2003



General:bagulu, bigulu, sevulu, towelu, all shows housefullu...pettai rap...more chennai slang...Sankara eye foundation gets donation from Lotto winner...I have a high speed internet connection at home and I work in the software industry...still I spend atleast 4 hours to get ready and reach work and back from work - that comes to approx 4 hours * 5 days * 50 weeks / 8 = 125 work days...Are any high tech CEOs listening ? ( actually is my CEO listening ? )...I should be getting 3 more months vacation...


Movies:It doesnt cost much to make a Indian movie...so it is all in the screenplay and performances...supposedly Pithamagan was released because Vikram funded it as the producer backed out in the middle...when a top movie star like Vikram's movies are in this state, I cant imagine how bad it must be for the wannabees...


Humor:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the c$ap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


Tuesday, October 28, 2003



General:I am down with some viral infection...flu season...no energy to type...tired of sending emails, try IP over pigeons...found a nice site of Indian hill stations...I was charged 50 bucks today for medicines, this is after using the medical insurance...all this for an allergy medicine prescribed for sore throat and an antibiotic ( erythromycin ) for the viral infection...I should have stayed at home and had "Vicks ki Goli" and ingi kashayam...Paranthe Poiyirukum virus....


Movies:My list of Tamil movies to watch is increasing: Julie Ganapathy, Jayam, Anbe Sivam ( 2nd time ), Kakka Kakka, Boys ( nth time :-) )...since i have the Boys DVD I will watch it now...:-)...

Humor:Things not known without the Movies:

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

Monday, October 27, 2003



General:Was in Chicago for 3 days. No internet, no phone, no cable. New house u see...but they had SunTV installed :-)...so watched SunTV 24*7...and ofcourse the Diwali celebrations in Aurora temple was nice too...puliyodirai, idli, poli, fireworks etc etc was really nice in temple...

It is common in the States to say "God bless you" when somebody sneezes ( more than once, means it is a cold or flu...run )...

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt. Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears. This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it. The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families. The speeches were nice, but they were routine.......until the final speech received a standing ovation. A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!! The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage... The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval. In God We Trust, United We Stand.


Movies: Saw "Kushi" in SunTV. Ok...atleast I learnt that one uses lots of "BEAT" in good screenplays...BEAT is a pause...Kushi is full of those...Heard that none of the Deepavali releases are doing good..."Pithamagan" might be the only one doing decently...since most of the previously released movies "Boys", "Kadhal Kondein", "Thiruda Thirudi" seem to be doing good, most of the theatres were not available for the new releases...yep, that is the main reason movies failed this Deepavali...as a couple of "Viewer" reviews point...all the new releases suck big time...and a Ajith fan died...the autopsy revealed that the movie story was the only cause of death...

Humor:

A guy was invited to an old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 70 years, and while the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago."

Thursday, October 23, 2003



General:It has started snowing here...luckily I have a garage now...Going to Chicago for the weekend - no internet connection there - have to find a coffee shop with WiFi access...WalMart has so much electronics stuff and so many leather bags but they dont sell laptop bags...I blame it on the profs at IIT - beside kidding, well written article...Stupid mistake or learn on the job...

Movies:ARR scaling new heights...Anybody ( especially distributors, producers ) can express their thoughts on a movie...here is one on the new release "Pithamagan" - it better be good...Speaking of expressing thoughts, after seeing "Kadhal Kondein", I expressed my thought that it is a "well-made Guna". The backlash has been quick and severe...woke up too many Kamal veriyan's...

Golf:What golf ? It is snowing outside. Maybe virtual golf will be nice...this is a cool online golf game. Used to play this with the group lead all the time last year...I think we got to 21...then the whole product was outsourced to India...

Humor: If the image doesnt appear, try this link: http://www.geocities.com/padhu/snicker_tech.jpg



Wednesday, October 22, 2003




Check out the Dracula's message....whodunnit...:;


.


General:I loved this intro to Carnatic Music...I havent completely read it yet but this is what I had wanted to know...The kids ( waiting for the school bus ) have started harassing me...7 of them put their thumbs out ( it was the thumb, I am sure ) asking for a ride...ofcourse I stopped ( i am officially stupid ) and they had so much fun out of that...Halloween is around..I wouldnt be surprised if I get pelted with some eggs...I need one of those rocking cars to be cool...

Movies:I saw "Kadhal KOndein" last night. Definitely a well made movie. But this is a old story even for Tamil fans. This is like a well-made Guna. But the photography was really good. But the acting was below standard. Especially the second hero.



Late 1970sIlamai Kalangal, Ilamai UnjalAduGirathuSigappu Rojakkal, Moodu PaniS.P.Muthuraman spoils the fun...
Early 2000sThulluvatho Ilamai, BoysKadhal Kondein??? will spoil it this time ?


Looks like every 20 years we get a new trend going and then somebody spoils the fun...or is the audience ready for only so much ?

Golf:A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor tells her there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then tells the editor to let it read, "Fred Brown Died". Amused at her thrift, the editor tells her there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over for a minute and says, "In that case, let it read, "Fred Brown died. Golf clubs for sale".

Humor:Actual court questions/answers:

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003



General:This is the week I feel worst throughout the year...another year missing Diwali at home...I was telling a friend, it is like a white dude in Tanjore during Christmas listening to Thirupavai on Christmas eve...havent been home since 1989...every year I plan that the next one I will be there...but some BS always shows up...What is wrong with these people ? Maybe ban sickles...

Do you blame Bush and Republicans for the war ? Here are some Democrats in the past few years:

"One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line."
- President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998
"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program."
- President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998

"Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face."
- Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998

"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983."
- Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18, 1998

"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs."
- Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin, Tom Daschle,
John Kerry, and others Oct. 9, 1998

"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process."
- Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998

"Hussein has ... chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies."
- Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999

"There is no doubt that ... Saddam Hussein has invigorated his weapons programs. Reports indicate that biological, chemical and nuclear programs continue apace and may be back to pre-Gulf War status. In addition, Saddam continues to redefine delivery systems and is doubtless using the cover of a
licit missile program to develop longer-range missiles that will threaten the United States and our allies."
- Letter to President Bush, Signed by Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL,) and others, December 5, 2001

"We begin with the common belief that Saddam Hussein is a tyrant and a threat to the peace and stability of the region. He has ignored the mandated of the United Nations and is building weapons of mass destruction and the means of delivering them."
- Sen. Carl Levin (D, MI), Sept. 19, 2002

"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country."
- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power."
- Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction."
- Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002

"The last UN weapons inspectors left Iraq in October of 1998. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has since embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities. Intelligence reports indicate that he is seeking nuclear weapons..."
- Sen. Robert Byrd (D, WV), Oct. 3, 2002

"I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force-- if necessary-- to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security."
- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002

"There is unmistakable evidence that Saddam Hussein is working aggressively to develop nuclear weapons and will likely have nuclear weapons within the next five years ... We also should remember we have always underestimated
the progress Saddam has made in development of weapons of mass destruction."
- Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D, WV), Oct 10, 2002

"He has systematically violated, over the course of the past 11 years, every significant UN resolution that has demanded that he disarm and destroy his chemical and biological weapons, and any nuclear capacity. This he has refused to do"
- Henry Waxman (D, CA), Oct. 10, 2002

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members .. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons."
- Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

"We are in possession of what I think to be compelling evidence that Saddam Hussein has, and has had for a number of years, a developing capacity for the production and storage of weapons of mass destruction."
- Sen. Bob Graham (D, FL), Dec. 8, 2002

"Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime ... He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation ... And now he is miscalculating America's response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction ... So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real ..."
- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 2003

SO NOW THE DEMOCRATS SAY PRESIDENT BUSH LIED, THAT THERE NEVER WERE ANY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND HE TOOK US TO WAR FOR HIS OIL BUDDIES???

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...........................


Golf: NO GOLF THIS WEEK. IT IS DIWALI AND I AM SAD...

Humor: NO HUMOR THIS WEEK. IT IS DIWALI AND I AM SAD...

Monday, October 20, 2003



General:Exams and assignments from today. But Diwali is this weekend...Boston had its first look at ice this season...tiny layer on car...Appears Horoscopes are not enough for arranged marriages...I like Rajeev Srinivasan articles in Rediff...this one lots of facts...atleast some should be correct...freaky stuff - Some guys are so talented in Photoshop and have too much time...

Movies:Watched "Dum Dum Dum" second time. Didnt realize its story/screenplay is by Mani Rathnam. Atleast Jyothika is sportive enough to accept being called "gundu" in more than one dialogue...Sad that there are so many folks who consider movie stars as their role models, and they behave so...The "Dum Dum Dum" VCD was bought in Malaysia by a friend of mine...he thinks it was a pirated copy..cost him 5$ or so...the first scene of the VCD is "Dont use pirated copies"....hmmmmm....a new technology is going to come out and the only way to bootleg will be to get a copy of those hand-held camera copies...reminds me of this Seinfeld episode...


Golf:Didnt play golf this weekend. I was trying to study...looks like the foreign players are doing good this year...VJ lost in the semis...Maruyama won...

Humor:Quit drinking the smart way...

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Beer and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it from the beer tap. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, I have two brothers. One's in Australia, the other's in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits this is a nice custom. The cowboy becomes a regular, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to pry, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church so I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers, though"

Friday, October 17, 2003



General:Sox lost because of a stupid decision...Indians are going home...and every returnee likes it there now when compared to a few years back...Microsoft haters... will like this site...US athletics legend Jesse Owens won a race against Julio McCaw in Havana, Cuba, five months after his four gold medals in the 1936 Berlin Olympics. But what was unusual about the contest? Julio McCaw was a racehorse (he wasnt the jockey as you thought). Owens had a 40-yard head-start and managed to hang on for victory.

Movies:Elango has a nice post on bit'adichufying in movies and music...One of Cinesouth's articles talked about how the Telugu and Tamil movie industry have been so cooperative when compared with Bollywood...so true although not many of the Telugu movies that are dubbed into Tamil are successful...whereas so many Tamil movies do good business in Telugu...they have the better audience...

Golf:The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his/her ideas about the golf swing.

Humor: Politically correct comments when you are pi$$ed:

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.
2. You say I'm a bi$ch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.

Thursday, October 16, 2003



General:Red Sox lost 2 days back and won yesterday...Game 7 today...I was so busy yesterday...just didnt feel like blogging...I am somehow very reluctant to do any car repairs...there is always a huge learning curve or some environment protection requirements...but when the headlight went off I didnt want to spend 30 bucks on labor with a mechanic...did it myself and it took less than a minute and only 5 bucks...next to-do: wiper blades...Heard Star Wars Rap....schweet game for kids - constructing the bears...

Movies:Sad to hear about Mani Rathnam's heart condition...has had 3 minor attacks already...what is the big deal about ARR not composing this Deepavali release movies...seems to be too many people so J about the successful people...the tamil media is ready to print anything...Kamal's age is always changing...yesterday I saw a quote as 50...last month it was 52...I doubt if he knows it correctly...anyways, I do/dont care...

Golf:A caddy is the person who carries the golf bag. Here are some caddie humor:
Golfer "How do you like my game?"
Caddy "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

Golfer "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

Golfer "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."


Humor: Wasnt the stuff above enough...what humor tumor...go study...( that is my mom when we were young )...

New E-Mail virus that even the most advanced programs cannot take care of. It appears to mostly affect computers of people born before 1960.
Symptoms:
1. Causes the same e-mail to be sent twice
2. Causes a blank e-mail to be sent
3. Causes e-mail to be sent to the wrong person
4. Causes e-mail to be sent back to the person who sent it to you
5. Causes attachment not to be attached
6. Causes e-mail to sent before you're finished writing
7. Causes e-mail to be deleted rather than sent

It's called the "C-Nile Virus"

Tuesday, October 14, 2003



General:RedSox win...crucial game tonight but I have a class...Chennai corporation is finally taking action against the milk vendors...we used to have a shed in our street ( Boag road ) and these cows used to roam everywhere...what a nuisance and dont forget the mosquitoes...FBI has released the top ten homicides for 2000...

Movies:Saw Anger Management last night...what an ordinary movie...chumma some stupid story and keep showing Yankees to pull in the crowds...but this was a big hit..."Matrix Reloaded" dvd is out...I want to find out the cost of Indian movie DVDs in India...it costs 20-25 bucks here in the States...ofcouse saw Boys again...paithiyam...

Golf:The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Humor:I am officially stupid now...answered "milk"...you will see why...

How's your aging intelligence? Take the following test (5 questions) here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces are so you don't see the answers until you have made your own....
OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

A. The answer is "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as "Children's World."

If you said, "water" then proceed to Question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions??

If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room.

Everyone else proceed to the final question.

5. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? YOU are the driver!

Monday, October 13, 2003



General:Sox lost again...Got a warning from a cop on Sat...the left light was not working right...hi..but I could drive straight...luckily he didnt have a breath analyzer...not that I was drunk...:; :;....3 day weekend...A friend of mine invited my another friend and his ex-GF to the same party...they had broken up couple of weeks back...embar....:D

Movies:I have officially seen the worst movie ever made...period...Parthale Paravasam...The rating system should include PP as another level...this movie got me thinking of an idea...start a web site where you get a review of any trash movie...but before you get the rating, you give your credit card details...we wont charge you unless the rating is PP...hi, we are saving you from a trip to hell...and we had to watch that anyways...so you pay for it...
Guess the song ( Tamil ):

Kannusami pudusa malai erum nalappa
karuppu chatai potta athigan nanappa
pandalam desam aLlum rasanoda puthirane
....

Saw Boyz 3 times this weekend...official DVD is out for renting...awesome print...non edited too....


Golf:Weather turned out to be nice on Sat. The round was not that good. Just couldnt make many pars. Ended up with 97.

Humor: Ever wonder...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline ! "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Friday, October 10, 2003



General:Sox lost last night...hmmmmmm...I have heard about naming ceremonies for new borns...my friend just said that they had a naming ceremony for their rooms at work...all this over cake, ice cream etc...next a national holiday for Naming...Name a tree, wastebasket, couch...It is official...The Universe is shaped like a football...Yesterday I had to pick up a veena from FedEx...only way it fit in my car was to drop the back rest of the front seats all thw way down...so I drove without back rest...different and interesting...do it for a few days and it will straighten out your spine...no need for yoga....

Movies:I am a huge fan of Raja's music...but Cmon...music of PithaMagan was pathetic...please retire gracefully...You want to know how much movie action breaks the laws of physics...

Golf:Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the begining of the next group of three. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.


Humor:Women drivers :
I thought all of you guys would appreciate this story.
Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily, but she scared me. I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the twins, ruined the phone and disconnected an important call.

I wish they'd keep women off the roads!!!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

General: The Sox win...woohoo...Califs have it all...weather, the Terminator, Saravana Bhavan and now can learn Tamil in schools...:-(....Want to learn the Boston lingo...I get to the street corner and see kids waiting for their school bus...couple of them were argueing over who came first to the bus stop :-)....so silly but so important for them...I remember doing that with my friends when I was their age...kids...kids...

Movies: We speak of heroes in Indian movies creating a change in audience tastes...like Sivaji's histrionics...Rajni's style...Kamal's chappani...but have any heroines done anything like that ? The only one I can think of is Sri Devi...could vijayashanthi be included also ( women kicking ass )...and how about Slimran...figure figure'than super figure'than...so goes the song...somebody singing to Kkkkkkuuuuuusssssssshhhhhhbbbbbbbooooooooooooooooo...Thalai EzhuTthu da....

Golf: Ok, I know the news already. It is definitely going to rain this weekend. Thanks, weather bhagvan...If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age...The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental. And only the mental play and watch...

Humor: On popular demand, heard more in the court room:

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception of your baby was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
A: (pause) No. 3 of your kind.

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

General: Looks like The Terminator is back in California...Heard about Software fashion...This was some big news to me...actual definition of nationwide plans when using a cell phone...Today the RedSox play the Yankees...( even i am excited :-) )....

Movies:The Tamil movie audience are going to be left behind if they keep doing this....Was thinking about 'Raja Parvai' ( kamal/madhavi ) last night during class...what a movie...although there were scenes from many English movies...but P.C.Sriram's camera, Raja's music...and still not a box-office hit...

Golf: Weather is gorgeous, but have to work. The Player of the Year ( POY ) race seems to be getting hot ( Who cares ? ). Looks like El Tigre might win it again. If he keeps winning, watching golf will get boring ( as if it is not otherwise, huh ??? )....


Humor:

* THE WASHINGTON POST STYLE INVITATIONAL: The Washington Post's Style
Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop’s
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the ! Earth explodes and it's like
a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature: (Do you know this
individual!!!!!!?????

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.